Meeting people in real life isn't any better than dating apps, amirite?

Organic is great when you have time and opportunity, but surely people realise that after a while life happens and you don't. That's where dating apps come in.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Also, organic is open-ended like plants and fungi. They thrive in some environments and others not so much.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

So does loneliness tho

by Anonymous 1 week ago

They're not mutually exclusive

by Anonymous 1 week ago

This hits hard

by Anonymous 1 week ago

What does?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Staying home all the time is boring. A really great trip is awesome. Doesn't mean the airport doesn't suck. Same deal.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Then you're not lonely. You're alone. There's a big difference.

by Left_House_9154 1 week ago

True, that's a fair point.

by cynthiahowell 1 week ago

Not as much as the shenanigans people can get up to if they can't get past the hurdle of that critical first date.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

But being alone doesn't have to be lonely. Easier to find friends around your hobbies than finding someone to fall in love with imo. Sometimes, you'll find a friendship that actually develops into more. Get a support network around you of friends and family. That way being alone doesn't have to be lonely.

by Lera69 1 week ago

For what it's worth, loneliness is way less expensive than dating

by Naive-Calendar8176 1 week ago

Obviously not when you're already well into the relationship and properly in love with each other, but I feel like loneliness is why most people start looking for dates

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The man, the myth, the legend

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Counter point. Just because someone knows someone be it your coworker of friends doesn't mean that person is a good filter. Just saying it's better to learn how to spot red flags than make the mistake of blindly trusting other people to vet for ya.

by leoniecartwrigh 1 week ago

People like to look for any shortcut they can to avoid paying attention, and to easily be able to categorise people. The astrology one is an obvious meme, oh I won't get on with them our sun signs aren't compatible. Then it's the red flags and ick lists and whatever, or one I think is really funny is just people with a given name or initial being a whole type of person

by Leonard41 1 week ago

Nah. Its not. You cant read people as well over the internet as in real life. Not even close

by rodriguezameric 1 week ago

Eventually you'll have to setup a date and that's when you'll know if they're the real deal or not. You're not supposed to stay forever in a "virtual relationship" Same case when you meet someone in "real life" you're not gonna really know that person out of that first interaction. You'll have to keep interacting with them (over the phone and on actual dates) The dating apps are just to speedup the process of that first greeting. To break the ice.

by Objective_Row_3041 1 week ago

Lol I guess, but that doesn't change my point.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Lots of people can't read in person at all and the younger genratiom is way better at reading online stuff rather then in person

by Anonymous 1 week ago

the way i see it, anything that you learn online is EXTRA so, either you meet someone you know nothing about in real life, and get to know them in real life, and then date them in real life OR you meet them on line, talk to them online, meet them n real life, and get to know them in real life, and then date them in real life i fail to see how the first can possibly be better than the latter, unless you actually let yourself get suckered in online, in which case, you would probably let yourself get suckered in real life too, as if someone lacks the critical thinking to wait until the meet someone to fall for them, then no amount of body language reading is going to help, becasue they just wont do it

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Couldn't Have Said It Better

by Objective_Row_3041 1 week ago

I don't really agree. I met my boyfriend at a library, sitting and reading with a friend of his. Talked a few times before it turned into a date. You can fake a lot over slow texting, not so much when you are sitting face to face in an environment where you are realistically only able to meet because you actually share those interests.

by Katharina75 1 week ago

I always found it odd that people said that dating apps are shallow because how is swiping any shallower than just seeing a person in real life and deciding whether you think they're hot or not?

by Low_Minute_5795 1 week ago

The apps keep a tally lol.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Because people on dating apps are carefully curating the best parts of them for a wider reach and most matches. I'm not saying people CAN'T be shallow irl, but there's only so much polishing you can do even with things like makeup, shapewear and wardrobe. Also, when people say "meet people offline" the intention isn't meant to be to go to one of those dating shows where you line up men/women and decide who is hotter or funnier, or go to a club and hit on the hottest people. That's shallow too. It means go outside and make meaningful connections and maybe those will become romantic relationships. It's the exact opposite of what anyone would be on a dating app for, a dating app is just a way to collect people on a platform with broadly the same intentions as you for convenience. A lot of people seem to mistake dating app experiences as reflective of real life experiences when that couldn't be further from the truth.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The apps scam people. Tindr is well documented hiding people's profile, deleting matches, and going as far as to delete messages in order to encourage people to become premium members.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Well in real life you don't have filters for one. Dating apps are a snapshot of someone and they're picking bits of their personality to mention. At least irl you can talk to someone you find attractive and get to know them that way. Dating apps just seem to full of people who ghost others and treat it all like a game... wanting something serious and using things like tinder is a waste of time.

by Lera69 1 week ago

Facts

by parisianpaxton 1 week ago

Because you swipe based on a picture whereas im real life, you usually have a longer interaction and time to see other attractive aspects of a person besides theis appearence : their voice,their social awareness and charisma, the fact they get along well with your friends etc…

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Agreed. I'm also someone who never wants to have kids, and I won't date someone who already has them. So the majority of people I meet in general will be incompatible with me, with apps I can generally see their stance on this right away or at least ask before taking the time to meet.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

That's a great point. I do want to have kids but I don't want to be a step mother so I don't date people with children as well.

by ecummings 1 week ago

I agree on that. I don't want kids either and the last person I dated (met on discord through a mental health group), we met up after months of chatting and things went well until they didnt... she wanted kids and also lied to me about fundamental things including her age. The problem is that dating apps also allow this stuff to happen but I do agree you can ask someone if they want kids or not. How about if they're unsure? It's a difficult thing.

by Lera69 1 week ago

As weird as this sounds, there isn't a quantifiable time when the dating scene was actually good. There are books trashing the dating scene that from the 1950s. Lots of accusations of lying, cheating, forced sexual activity, and grimy behavior.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The apps just make it much easier to find these kinds of people, given the very low barrier to entry for joining them. A dating app is a company whose sole purpose is to make money. They make money through engagement. Going on a dating app is signing up for a money hungry company to play Cupid with your dating life. They love the fact that it's a hookup thing and people fail to find love. That keeps people engaged in the app Also you can gain a false perception of who someone is by speaking to them on the internet

by Anonymous 1 week ago

They don't make money unless they successfully match a lot of people though.....

by Dry_Comb_8658 1 week ago

It's a business. Obviously the company wants to make money. But there are people that are willing to meet someone through those apps. Does that implies you have to spend money? We'll yeah…. Just like you need to spend money if you go on a date for the first time (coffee, drinks or food) even when you don't even know if you're gonna be compatible with your date. Perfect systems to meet people doesn't exist. You have to pay some sort of "fee" Everywhere.

by Objective_Row_3041 1 week ago

You: spend 30 minutes clicking with a women at social club. Woman: *picks up phone* Oh hi babe, ya its going great, pick me up in an hour? You: *continues smiling*

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You're once again missing the point where you're supposed to be out socializing with people, women included, because it's fun and not because they're potentially single and looking bro date you…

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Your missing the point that most women you'd be interested in are gonna be taken. I'm just agreeing with OP that the idea that randomly 'having fun' is anymore likely to land you the person of your dreams than Tinder.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Ok, but the girl you liked and clicked with finds out you're single: And sets you up with her even more clicking best friend.

by Sabrynajenkins 1 week ago

Yes, that happens all the time...in early 2000s rom-coms.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

How do you think people found love before dating apps dude?

by Sabrynajenkins 1 week ago

‘We live in the current year' LOL Exactly, what are we complaining about? It's always been hard to date and find love!

by Sabrynajenkins 1 week ago

Why would most women you're interested in be taken?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Uh cause physically attractive, ambitious, intelligent, adventurous women are usually partnered up by the time they hit their late 20s? Another benefit of Tinder is you know everyone there expects to get hit on.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Idk where you live but people in their 20s are largely still unmarried where I live . Physically attractive, ambitious, intelligent, adventurous is irrelevant. Ugly lazy dumb people get just as much action as anyone else, just from other ugly lazy dumb people.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Because most women are not single, so its most likely the interesting fun and attractive ones that are in relationships

by Kheathcote 1 week ago

Are you suggesting there are more fun attractive men than fun attractive women , hence creating this shortage of women specifically?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Im not going to argue that point specifically but I will say that population wise alone there are significantly more men than women within the same age ranges until much later in life.

by AccomplishedJob 1 week ago

Not at all no i dont know how you read it like that

by Kheathcote 1 week ago

But would you agree that most attractive fun men are in relationships?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Thank you, imagine comparing dating apps to real life connections you're supposed to build on People are hopeless these days

by Anonymous 1 week ago

This ^ At least you're out, not sitting at home on your screens.

by Maybell54 1 week ago

Back in my single days, I always ended up meeting someone on a night out if I'd just gone out for fun, when I went out with the intention of meeting someone, 9 times out of 10 I wouldn't meet anyone. I suspect with a high degree of certainty it was because I was giving off some dodgy vibes. Seriously just go out and have fun, when people see you're a fun person (without degrading anyone else), you instantly become more appealing.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

i got in shape, and a cute dog. It's a seriously winning ticket.

by Jeff88 1 week ago

To anyone reading this only get the dog if you want the dog. Just take some pics with a friends dog if you need to. A lot of people I know got dogs over Covid and then gave them away after realizing it takes work.

by ramon69 1 week ago

I'm actually watching the decision to get a dog destroy a friends life so yeah I'll take my cat and his complete independence personally. I love dogs but I don't have a life in which I can take care of one.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

😯 in what ways?!

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Does this work with cats?

by Ill_Carob233 1 week ago

Unfortunately no, it doesn't work with cats.

by Careful-Team 1 week ago

What? The cats on my profile (not even my cats) get tons of attention from the girls

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Cats are a green flag

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Cats are a red flag for my friends, they got their theories.

by Sabrynajenkins 1 week ago

Nope just dogs

by Anonymous 1 week ago

For other cat people. Dog people hate cats. Cat people love animals in general.

by Vidal10 1 week ago

I mean dating often sucks no matter how you meet the person.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I think they are better. When you meet someone in real life it is is easy to put too much weight on the interaction because you already met them, even if they are incompatible.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's not down to random chance. You have total control over the places you go and thus the demographics of people you meet. Want to meet someone in shape? Join the running club or local yoga class. Want to meet a nerdy person? Go to the board game meetup. Want to meet a person who can cook? Literally go to the produce section at Safeway and talk people!

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Dating apps are used to find dates, if you find true love then that's another thing

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Hahahaha I just came back from a date and was just joking about me running away to the nearest bus station as soon as the dinner was done before grabbing dessert.😂

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Well, considering that every one of your ancestors (except possibly one) met and had children without a dating app, I'd say that at least they aren't required...

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Honestly don't know how you guys are meeting people, in person or apps. The idea of going out to meet people seems so daunting. And I manage hotels lol

by Lschaefer 1 week ago

It is random but as a short guy who isn't super conventionally attractive meeting in person does a lot more for me. It's easier to start a conversation, show off my humor and make a first impression that goes beyond my appearance

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's worse in real life. In person you have to see every woman that rejects you

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Its easier to read people irl. Youre utterly and completely wrong

by rodriguezameric 1 week ago

Putting your point aside because I disagree, being able to read someone easier wasn't their point. They just said it isn't any better

by Leading_Main_1413 1 week ago

Maybe not anymore, but it used to.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

You're about 10 years too late on this one. Very popular opinion

by Anonymous 1 week ago

People have to have effective screening skills when meeting people either in person or apps. I think that most people who do not make good partners tend to have ways of trying to mask this either in person or on the apps. They try and present themselves as more reliable, less emotional problems, less manipulative than they really are, because they would have nobody date them if their serious issues were easily apparent.

by Tkunze 1 week ago

I think the big issue with dating apps that causes people to advocate for irl interaction is the fact that you arent confined to pictures and prompts like on apps (especially if you are a bad picture taker) and people cant swipe right on you irl before hearing you speak. Well, they can ignore you or instantly blow you off, but generally, most people will hear you out or give you 30 seconds irl that youd never get from being swiped on with an app. That small change can make a big difference for certain people who rely more on charisma to get their foot in the door or who might be right on the border of a left swipe but fall short in their profile by a small margin

by stokeselian 1 week ago

Agree, it's hard to find people of quality in general.

by macejkovicezeki 1 week ago

Yeah a guy only wanting to sleep with me is gonna be the same at the bar or on the app ;—;

by tstehr 1 week ago

The problem is that some people assume that they have to stay forever alone just because they cannot get a match on tinder. Dating apps can work. But some people will have way more success in real life. A person with social anxiety who is photogenic and has a good style/interesting hobbies will probably be more successful dating people online. A person who is very funny and charming in person but who is extremly average in every other aspect of their life, might have issues online because they dont really stand out at the first sight. But they will probably be quite successful at finding a partner in the real life.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The problem is that dating apps don't have the aim to get you a partner. Especially if you are male dating apps try to make the most money, not to find you your perfect partner.

by Remote_Fault 1 week ago

I'm just glad that I'm married and don't have to deal with the dating game anymore. Dating sucks no matter what method or tactic lol

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Met someone at a bar before a concert, friend of a friend, cute story, he strung me along and didn't treat me right. Met my soulmate on bumble 4.5 years ago, we just got engaged. It doesn't matter how you meet someone. Everything after that is what matters.

by BottleLarge 1 week ago

I think we can all agree it's time for the robo-hookers to appear.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Imo complete rubbish, I've only ever had long term relationships IRL. Everything from dating apps has been short term/waste of time/just sex.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

The main reason IRL is better is because it eliminates catfishing. Most people's dating profiles are old pics, or heavily filtered / altered pics.

by Gerardmurazik 1 week ago

Nah. On dating apps men can manipulate you guys if you put things you like on a profile they'll just pretend they like the same when they talk you to. At least in person they have no idea about what you like and it is easier to identify lies in person.

by Able_Rate 1 week ago

In my experience the ones I meet in real life tend to be better looking

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I agree. At least on dating apps you can be super upfront about what you are looking for. I met my husband on a dating app. I had spent a couple of years trying to meet someone organically but never clicked in a romantic way with any of them. But also several of them weren't really seeking a relationship like I was.

by Ilaturcotte 1 week ago

I disagree. So there. 😆 Seriously, though, writing stuff online cannot possibly convey what someone is really like. In online dating, only photogenic people get picked. If you have charisma, charm, wit, but just don't come out favourable in a picture you will be sidelined. So, if you are pretty, crack on. Online dating must be great. But for us lesser mortals it's just miserable.

by Rene44 1 week ago

Meeting in real life is better because I can gauge whether I like them in 5 minutes based on their mannerisms. I can't read people through text

by AcrobaticSmell7024 1 week ago

Yeah you're wrong about this and it's kinda sad

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I'm 40, married. I've never used a dating app. I just missed the time frame, I suppose…

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Irl boobs are better than ..... everything

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I think you're being nihilistic. Relationships are difficult. The main advantage of trying to date someone in person is that charisma is an actual factor which is something that cannot come across on a profile

by Anonymous 1 week ago

What are you looking for? Hookups? Sure, apps is better. Actual love? The app would go bankrupt fast if it was designed to have less recurrent customers.

by Abernathyleo 1 week ago

The apps are designed to meet people with different expectations. Not everyone wants just to hookup. Just like in real life, there are people looking for all kinds of relationships / interactions. There are no guarantees that you will find "real love" outside dating apps or visceversa. In the end it's all about the individuals.

by Objective_Row_3041 1 week ago

You meet people and from there the choices are in your hands. The app is the venue, it doesn't force you to only hook up.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

When it comes to finding someone you fail until you succeed

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Been screaming this

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's so much easier to connect with someone in person. School, work, shared hobbies, a coffee shop. You talk and get to know each other and sparks develop. Dating apps are so forced.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

hard disagree. nothing can replace the dynamics and the excitement of fate bringing two people together, and experiencing each other's aura and mannerisms straight off the bat.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Thats not the main problem of dating apps. First huge problem is over inflation of egos on one side and self-worth damage on the other side. Second problem is that we killed all previously normal places to find partner. Like work, gym, hobbies and so on. Approaching a coworker and asking them out is seen as sexual harassment.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Dating apps are just desperate people. If a person takes care of themselves and just goes out without the intent of finding someone to be with, they will find an ideal husband or wife. Not that complicated.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It's better to have infinite sex but no love than no sex AND no love.

by Considinedangel 1 week ago

Technically, if you aimed low enough you could have unlimited sex too. Have at ‘er.

by Sabrynajenkins 1 week ago

Straight up not true for men unless you're trying to advocate for sexual assault.

by Considinedangel 1 week ago

now imagine for women, that's just most guys. That's entirely your own fault for buying into the patriarchal notion of what men's bodies, emotions and finances should be. it's not an option for us So when men have unrealistic and sexist expectations for woman partners it's misogyny and they need to do better but when women have ridiculous and patriarchal expectations for potential male partners it's innate and can't be helped. How convenient. you want us to lower our standards and have sex with people we find unattractive When your standards are either ridiculous and arbitrary or sexist and hypocritical then yes. You should lower them. Why would you want to contribute to enforcing patriarchy and toxic masculinity??

by Considinedangel 1 week ago

You have to get out of the U.S and Western Europe. It's literally a bunch of low IQ fat pigs.

by Halvorsonpiper 1 week ago