Couples in general shouldn't be expected to tell each other everything. amirite?

If someone confides in you and they expect you to keep the information to yourself, assuming there's no reason to tell your spouse or partner, then it's a betrayal of trust to the person who shared private information to tell your spouse or partner. Just because you have a partner doesn't mean that other people should not be able to trust you with their personal and sensitive information. Basically, I agree and I can't see how this is wrong or unpopular.

by Entire-Expression358 1 week ago

They shouldn't have to tell everything and probably don't, but if asked and the SO doesn't want to say, it just breeds distrust.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Thank you. Your extrapolation is exactly how I meant it. Good people do exist.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If you don't have anything to hide, there is no need for privacy.

by gaycarter 1 week ago

You might not have anything to hide, but someone confiding in you has the expectation that you will not share THEIR personal information that they chose to share with you. And you're not hiding anything, it's called keeping someone else's personal information to yourself. It's not that hard when someone trusted YOU.

by Entire-Expression358 1 week ago

If someone starts a conversation saying " don't tell anyone this" I remind them I tell my wife everything and if they don't want that, then don't share it with me either.

by gaycarter 1 week ago

At least you're honest and I can't imagine that you have many legitimate inner circle friends, but honesty is admirable.

by Entire-Expression358 1 week ago

I tell my boyfriend everything. It does bore him to an extreme amount but I enjoy gossiping about my crazy family. Like my aunt who put her head through a wall last week because her boyfriend cheated on her again? That's insane. But who else am I going to tell other than my partner? So he knows everything even though he doesn't care.

by Separate_Date7218 1 week ago

If a friend tells me something in confidence or I can infer it's no one else's business, I just wouldn't bring it up to my partner. Like I'm not gonna say, "so and so told me something, but I can't tell you", so he's not going to ever know there's something to tell.

by Grolfson 1 week ago

Expected? No, but they should be fairly comfortable in being able to (not with the sharing others business part). It is valid for anyone to have certain things that are difficult for them to talk about with others including their significant other and hey that is part of the beauty of getting to go to counseling.. but things that are to the point of intentionally being deceptive and you are hiding things that you know would be a big deal to your SO.. then that is not great. I do agree though, if you are keeping a secret for a friend - as long as it is information that has nothing to do with your SO then it is admirable, loyal and more than reasonable to not tell your SO about it because that person told YOU not your SO. (In short I agree) At the same time, I think anyone should know that oftentimes spouses are told and they have to decide when they confide in someone if they are okay with that possibility. I would assume that most partners who choose to share this info with their spouse also have a certain level of trust that their partner will not blab to others.. but even still I get where if someone tell someone else not to tell anyone they should honor it.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If it's really that big of a secret. Then you should keep it to yourself. Don't tell anyone.

by Missouri87 1 week ago

Of course. Just because you know something you aren't required to "report" it to your partner. Like if I have a friend or co worker that has something personal going on, I can just not talk about it and not have a big mouth.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

It should kind of depend on what is being shared with you. Some things are really personal. Just because someone shared something really vulnerable with doesn't doesn't mean your husband has the right to know that.

by chrispurdy 1 week ago

It's not something that just happens. If someone asks you not to tell anyone else and they don't understand that you don't include your spouse when they are sharing super personal information, then you should at least say that you're going to tell your spouse so they can decide whether to tell you at all.

by Entire-Expression358 1 week ago

What part of "partner" are people not understanding here?

by Keonhahn 1 week ago

the whole soul mates thing is unhealthy love worship

by Anonymous 1 week ago

I tell my partner everything. Don't want it repeated don't tell me in the first place.

by gaycarter 1 week ago

I tell my partner everything. If someone tells me something they know that I will keep their secrets from everyone BUT him. I am open about that and if that means people don't feel comfortable sharing things with me, that's ok.

by Cathy38 1 week ago

If they want privacy then they shouldn't tell me anything, they all know I will tell her. I don't keep secrets.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

"They all know I will tell her" is kind of BS. So if a close friend or family member had a health problem and for whatever reason wanted privacy about the matter and it had absolutely nothing to do with your wife, then you'd bring it up for no reason? That's not really about keeping secrets, more out of respect for the other person.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

So this other person is saying "don't tell me, I'm not going to respect your confidence."

by Entire-Expression358 1 week ago

Personally I don't have friends or family that aren't also friends and family to my husband.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

And? If your mom or sibling told you something private because she wanted to only talk to you about it and didn't want the rest of the family to know yet, you would disregard that request and tell everyone else, or at least your partner, despite the fact that you they asked you to keep it private until they were ready to share it more openly with the rest of your family? Are you unable to see the many ways this might play out in real life, where someone might come to you for advice, in confidence, even if only for a certain time while they can understand and figure out how to handle the cards life has dealt them? You can't resist sharing everything that anyone you love tells you? I think that says more about you than anyone who might ever trust you.

by Entire-Expression358 1 week ago

Yea I would still tell her, why wouldn't I?

by Anonymous 1 week ago

Because there's zero reason to even bring it up. It's not like that would just casually come up in conversation. You're going out of your way to pass on info that you know the person wouldn't want spread.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If a close friend or "Family member" told me something then it actually does come up in conversation and I would tell her because we are married making my relatives just as much hers as are our friends. If someone told me "hey don't tell anyone this" I would remind them "don't tell me anything you don't want me to tell my wife" and then they know, I keep no secrets.

by Anonymous 1 week ago

If someones asking you to keep things from your partner in life theyre kind of an asshole. Why put someone in that position?

by Keonhahn 1 week ago

Who said "shshshs dont tell your wife"? OP said in a situation where someone asked you not to tell something to anyone, and it was unrelated to your partner, you shouldn't be expected to tell them. My point is, if it has nothing to do with them then... yeah, why do you NEED to tell them?

by Anonymous 1 week ago